Mr. Hsiang,
Hello, my name is Albert Koholic. My friends call me Al and you can refer to me as such. I recently stumbled across the email you sent me and I would like to express my interest in collaborating with you. I am in a grave situation with debt and mortgage and feel like this is the perfect opportunity that I can not simply ignore. I am a little anxious and skeptical as to how all this works, but I am easily confused. I am hoping that future correspondence with you will help allay my fears and result in a fruitful partnership. I am very anxious to hear back from you. With what limited funds I have left I am willing to take a risk as long as I feel secure with the situation. Below I have included my information. I will leave out my phone number for now until I feel more comfortable. I hope to hear back from you soon.
Thank you,
Albert
Albert Koholic
3501 Rebel Run
Fairfax, VA 22030
I think when it all goes down I'll send him some Monopoly money.
Friday, October 31, 2008
My Get Rich Quick Scheme
So I'm minding my own business when I open up my Yahoo! (trademark) email account and find that a golden egg has just been pooped into my lap. Apparently Mr.Wang Kuang Hsiang is the director of a Taiwanese bank. Well, it seems that during an audit over 21 million dollars of unknown money was found. Through their private investigation they found that the owner of this money had died and this money is left unclaimed. Since there is no record of a next of kin he needed someone to help something up to establish a beneficiary. He chose me. Of course this is no accident. I am asian and I like money. God is sending me a blinding, halogen sign that he wants me to have this money. So if I do my part Mr. Wang is willing to share the money with me. I mulled over this for a good 5 minutes and decided I have to take a hold of this, once-in-a-lifetime, opportunity. I am going to take him up on his offer before someone else gets their greedy hands into MY cookie jar. Here is the email as proof that I am truly blessed. I know the Internets is just dying to hear what happens so I will blog my experience.
This is his email to me, verbatim:
I am Mr.Wang Kuang Hsiang, Director of Operations and Head Wealth
Management Division. In our current performance of Annual Account Audit, our auditors found within our database some couple of accounts with huge deposits that has no registered name or next of kin associated with its record. As the man in the helm of affairs, these files were sent to my office for endorsement so that the deposits are transferred to the Taiwan Government Treasury and Reserve Accounts as unclaimed deposits. I did endorsed all but leaving one behind which I am very much familiar with; I indicated that the one I left has a next of kin/beneficiary associated with it but in the real sense, it has no beneficiary and this account is worth $21,500,000.00 (Twenty-One Million Five Hundred Thousand US Dollars).
A private investigation was plunged and supervised by me; the result was that the account owner had died. Being in the helm of affairs, I have the power and expertise to have these funds moved but there has to be a recipient who must be a foreigner. I therefore seek your consent to collaborate with me by letting me document you (through an attorney) as the next of kin/beneficiary in position to receive the $21.5M, then you and I will share the money. Should you be interested in working with me on this, do indicate your interest by sending me your full names, phone number and current residential address. I would prefer you reach me via my personal email address:
mr_wangkuang@yahoo.com.hk
Once I hear from you, I immediately will provide you with further information on logistics of having these funds moved.
Sincerely,
Mr.Wang Kuang Hsiang.
Before you guys jump to conclusions and think I am foolish; let it be known I know of all the potential scams out there. I've received emails before...but they were usually from Nigeria. But this is from Taiwan! How could they lie to a fellow asian?! I know what they eat, I know what they look like, and I love Thai food. I know it's not Thailand, but it's close enough.
This is his email to me, verbatim:
I am Mr.Wang Kuang Hsiang, Director of Operations and Head Wealth
Management Division. In our current performance of Annual Account Audit, our auditors found within our database some couple of accounts with huge deposits that has no registered name or next of kin associated with its record. As the man in the helm of affairs, these files were sent to my office for endorsement so that the deposits are transferred to the Taiwan Government Treasury and Reserve Accounts as unclaimed deposits. I did endorsed all but leaving one behind which I am very much familiar with; I indicated that the one I left has a next of kin/beneficiary associated with it but in the real sense, it has no beneficiary and this account is worth $21,500,000.00 (Twenty-One Million Five Hundred Thousand US Dollars).
A private investigation was plunged and supervised by me; the result was that the account owner had died. Being in the helm of affairs, I have the power and expertise to have these funds moved but there has to be a recipient who must be a foreigner. I therefore seek your consent to collaborate with me by letting me document you (through an attorney) as the next of kin/beneficiary in position to receive the $21.5M, then you and I will share the money. Should you be interested in working with me on this, do indicate your interest by sending me your full names, phone number and current residential address. I would prefer you reach me via my personal email address:
mr_wangkuang@yahoo.com.hk
Once I hear from you, I immediately will provide you with further information on logistics of having these funds moved.
Sincerely,
Mr.Wang Kuang Hsiang.
Before you guys jump to conclusions and think I am foolish; let it be known I know of all the potential scams out there. I've received emails before...but they were usually from Nigeria. But this is from Taiwan! How could they lie to a fellow asian?! I know what they eat, I know what they look like, and I love Thai food. I know it's not Thailand, but it's close enough.
Proud to be Korean!
It kind of looks like someone I know...if you can guess it, I'll buy you a drink!
Cost Cutting Ideas for Halloween
It's Halloween and greedy kids are going to come by and panhandle for candy that you paid for. I don't call it Halloween...I call it Freeloader's Day. If you are low on funds and want to save some money; here are my ideas for those greedy fools.
1. Take some paper and cut them into strips and write random fortunes. Give the kids fortunes without the cookie.
2. Judge the costumes kids are wearing and determine if they are good enough to get candy. Those lazy kids that show up without costumes are automatically disqualified. Create a point system and rate each kid. If they fail to meet the minimum score tell them they can't get their candy and give them the score sheet so they can improve next year. Scrubs.
3. Give them pennies. Cash is king.
4. If you aren't going out to a party, hide out at your parents and let them spend money on candy.
5. Go trick-or-treating yourself and use that to give to the kids. You can combine this with idea #2 to save some candy for yourself.
6. Find an empty basket. When the kids come around show them the basket and tell them they are too late.
7. Barter with the kids. Take a peek into their bag and trade them for candy you would want. Win-Win situation.
8. You know how restaurants have candy on their counter and have a sign saying to give 25 cents to get candy? Do that. Except make them slide the change under the door before you open the door and give them candy. It works for restaurants...why not you?
9. When they knock on your door go to the door and let them hear you lock it. They'll get the message.
10. Go to sleep.
- basic
1. Take some paper and cut them into strips and write random fortunes. Give the kids fortunes without the cookie.
2. Judge the costumes kids are wearing and determine if they are good enough to get candy. Those lazy kids that show up without costumes are automatically disqualified. Create a point system and rate each kid. If they fail to meet the minimum score tell them they can't get their candy and give them the score sheet so they can improve next year. Scrubs.
3. Give them pennies. Cash is king.
4. If you aren't going out to a party, hide out at your parents and let them spend money on candy.
5. Go trick-or-treating yourself and use that to give to the kids. You can combine this with idea #2 to save some candy for yourself.
6. Find an empty basket. When the kids come around show them the basket and tell them they are too late.
7. Barter with the kids. Take a peek into their bag and trade them for candy you would want. Win-Win situation.
8. You know how restaurants have candy on their counter and have a sign saying to give 25 cents to get candy? Do that. Except make them slide the change under the door before you open the door and give them candy. It works for restaurants...why not you?
9. When they knock on your door go to the door and let them hear you lock it. They'll get the message.
10. Go to sleep.
- basic
Thursday, October 30, 2008
This one is for Mike
This is Mike's favorite player in the NFL. His name is Lendale White and he is a touchdown machine. Mike refers to him, affectionately as, "daeji".
New Money Saving Techniques
Have you ever thought, "Man I need to stop using my credit cards?". This may be the solution for you!
- basic
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Warrior, Father, Friend, Redskin
“I don't think anybody should have regrets, especially me, ... You don't regret what you do in your life. If you do it, you do it for a reason."
- Sean Taylor
(Sorry Minsun, I had to do it. - Richard)
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
!
So its my birthday (yes, thank you) and thanks to Facebook, I get a smattering of well wishes from my friends. They're the standard short notes of happy birthday but one in particular caught my eye and it read: "HB!". HB? Seriously? Is "happy bday" not short enough that we have to go to "HB"? Really? What's next? "That girl is hot" is not just "ssss", "have a nice day" is just "day" and "haha" has been condensed to just "ha". Well to that I say "!"
Friday, October 24, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Sex, Revenge, Murder....Virtually
Click on the link for the full article.
We live in, very much, a virtual world. We do our shopping online. We get our news online. We have, *gasp*, sex online. People even get married online. I guess it was only a matter of time before these online marriages result in the virtual murders of spouses by their scorned widows.
Here are some excerpts from the article:
We live in, very much, a virtual world. We do our shopping online. We get our news online. We have, *gasp*, sex online. People even get married online. I guess it was only a matter of time before these online marriages result in the virtual murders of spouses by their scorned widows.
Here are some excerpts from the article:
"The woman, who has been jailed on suspicion of illegally accessing a computer and manipulating electronic data, used his ID and password to log onto the popular interactive game "Maple Story" to carry out the virtual murder in May, a police official in the northern city of Sapporo said. He spoke on condition of anonymity because of department policy.
"I was suddenly divorced, without a word of warning. That made me so angry," the official quoted her as telling investigators and admitting the allegations."
(LOL...anonymity. I guess this is a ground breaking case and should be handled with care since future incidents will be dealt in reference to the precedents that this case will set. We wouldn't want to compromise the integrity of this serious investigation...would we?)
In virtual worlds, players often abandon their inhibitions, engaging in activity online that they would never do in the real world. For instance, sex with strangers is a common activity.
(Eye-opening!)
The woman used login information she got from the 33-year-old office worker when their characters were happily married to kill the character. The man complained to police when he discovered that his online avatar was dead.
The woman was arrested Wednesday and taken 620 miles from her home in southern Miyazaki to be detained in Sapporo, where the man lives, the official said.
(Only in Japan....)
- basic
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Sugar, Water, Purple : NSFW (Language)
Mike, this post is for you so you can see what I was talking about last night. LOL Dave Chappelle is the funniest man alive!
If you are going to listen to this at work...use a headset or lower the volume. It's not vulgar or tasteless...but has a few choice words.
- basic
If you are going to listen to this at work...use a headset or lower the volume. It's not vulgar or tasteless...but has a few choice words.
- basic
Midget Face Slide
This is just to keep my blogs in the spirit of this site. I have this saved o my work computer and I like to watch it once in a while if I'm having a rough day.
Edit: Awww man. This site doesn't do animated images. Just take my word for it. It's hilarious. Google Image "midget face slide". It should be the #1 returned search for that topic.
Update:
- basic
You are not a unique Snowflake
I know this is supposed to be RandomHaHa but here is a link to an article to a subject matter that really grinds my gears:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122455219391652725.html
In retrospect of my childhood; I am really glad my parents beat my ass when I did something wrong. I am even glad that they beat my ass when I didn't do anything wrong, just for good measure. It made me a stronger person and taught me to be responsible for my actions, work hard for everything, and that nothing comes easy. It's fine if you put in the time and effort to demand what you want. But to come into a situation where you offer nothing and think you are special because your mom told you so is ridiculous. The corporations are not sinless and are also partly to blame, I won't deny that. For example, they expect loyalty from their employees when they would, just as readily, cut ties with loyal employees. So yes, if you actually do deserve better and you aren't getting compensated for your worth, demand it. But it is not your birthright.
The main thing in the article that pisses me off is the coddling parents give. I have seen and heard many instances of when kids or young adults do something wrong and do not take responsibility for their own actions. It's always someone else's fault. I have read things on how parents go to job interviews with their kids or call the company and bitch if their child doesn't get the the job. Or blame a company for their child getting injured because their child shoots themselves with a bebe gun. Hey...did you ever consider that maybe your kid is just stupid? Or maybe you are just a bad parent.
Pfft spoiled kids. Do you know what my mom said when I brought home report cards with all A's and one B? "WTF? What the hell is a B? Go find a stick that I can beat you with! And you better not pick anything out that is too small." (Translated from Korean)
- basic
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122455219391652725.html
In retrospect of my childhood; I am really glad my parents beat my ass when I did something wrong. I am even glad that they beat my ass when I didn't do anything wrong, just for good measure. It made me a stronger person and taught me to be responsible for my actions, work hard for everything, and that nothing comes easy. It's fine if you put in the time and effort to demand what you want. But to come into a situation where you offer nothing and think you are special because your mom told you so is ridiculous. The corporations are not sinless and are also partly to blame, I won't deny that. For example, they expect loyalty from their employees when they would, just as readily, cut ties with loyal employees. So yes, if you actually do deserve better and you aren't getting compensated for your worth, demand it. But it is not your birthright.
The main thing in the article that pisses me off is the coddling parents give. I have seen and heard many instances of when kids or young adults do something wrong and do not take responsibility for their own actions. It's always someone else's fault. I have read things on how parents go to job interviews with their kids or call the company and bitch if their child doesn't get the the job. Or blame a company for their child getting injured because their child shoots themselves with a bebe gun. Hey...did you ever consider that maybe your kid is just stupid? Or maybe you are just a bad parent.
Pfft spoiled kids. Do you know what my mom said when I brought home report cards with all A's and one B? "WTF? What the hell is a B? Go find a stick that I can beat you with! And you better not pick anything out that is too small." (Translated from Korean)
- basic
Hug an Asian Day
So apparently October 15th is the official Hug an Asian Day. I was like "huh?". So I decided to google it while at work. A site called www.aznlover.com came up in the search that mentioned it. Like an idiot I decided to click it and I get this:
Websense
Blocked
Category: Adult Material
Good game.
- basic
Websense
Blocked
Category: Adult Material
Good game.
- basic
Lukewarm for Barack
I was listening to a sports radio show yesterday on my way to lunch with Senor Miguel and heard this little tidbit. Apparently, after the Tampa Bay Rays earned their first World Series appearance Barack Obama went down to Tampa and stated his support for the Rays. However, the previous week he had gone to Philadelphia to state his support for the Phillies.
W.T.F.. That perturbs me quite a bit. On issues that MATTER (like economy, health care, foreign relations, etc.) I expect candidates to waffle between opinions; since they will eventually tow the party line or try to cater to public opinion. But to be as trivial as this to garner votes is unacceptable. You support one or the other. I will quote one of my favorite bible quotes:
"So then because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spew you out of my mouth."
Revelations 3:16
Barack, I am about to spew you out. Look, there are some things that are instrinsic to people that you can't be on the fence with. You are either on the side of good or evil, war or peace, coke or pepsi, McDonald's or Burger King, Sunny D or that "purple stuff". There is a fork in the road on these issues and you can only choose one road.
- basic
W.T.F.. That perturbs me quite a bit. On issues that MATTER (like economy, health care, foreign relations, etc.) I expect candidates to waffle between opinions; since they will eventually tow the party line or try to cater to public opinion. But to be as trivial as this to garner votes is unacceptable. You support one or the other. I will quote one of my favorite bible quotes:
"So then because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spew you out of my mouth."
Revelations 3:16
Barack, I am about to spew you out. Look, there are some things that are instrinsic to people that you can't be on the fence with. You are either on the side of good or evil, war or peace, coke or pepsi, McDonald's or Burger King, Sunny D or that "purple stuff". There is a fork in the road on these issues and you can only choose one road.
- basic
Thursday, October 16, 2008
basic's First Blog Post
Ok, so Minsun has been getting on me about making a post and threatening to take away my "contributor" status. I've never really written a blog so I'll rant about something I talked about with Minsun. Men's locker rooms. Here goes nothing.
The first problem I have is the stench in our locker rooms. With the steam room nearby and the showers running it smells, literally, like a steaming plate of ass. What's worse is that it's like a Pho restaurant and I can still smell it on me after I leave the gym. Why can't men's locker rooms have things like flowers and potpourri to make it smell nice? I know women have it. I've had to go to your bathrooms before. When I was still working at Micro Center I had to go in the female bathroom to grab some paper towels and noticed a nice basket of flower petals and potpourri. Naturally, I got jealous because our bathrooms didn't even have the drop-in thing in the urinals. So I snatched that joint and put it in our bathroom. The next day I worked I checked our bathroom and saw that they had removed it and put it back in the female bathroom. I was pretty mad and wanted to write a complaint to HR for borderline sexism. I consider myself a manly guy but I'd appreciate some potpourri or even a frigging fake plant to make my time there more athestically pleasing.
My second biggest problem is old Korean men. Most are fine. I'm talking about the ones with slicked back hair, gold chains, and are buck naked their entire time in the locker room. These are the guys that like to go up to the sinks, prop one leg up and then use the, gym provided, blow driers to dry their pubes. Seriously? It has to be a narcissitic thing. A lot of the ones I see blow dry themselves while strumming their junk and make stupid "Blue Steel" faces in the mirror. Hate to break it to you but you ain't that big. I saw it again yesterday. I guess propping up the leg makes some kind of sense since there is more surface area exposed to the drier and helps the moisture dissipate quicker....I find that towel + air drying to be just as effective and environmentally friendly. Save a tree....please!
- basic
The first problem I have is the stench in our locker rooms. With the steam room nearby and the showers running it smells, literally, like a steaming plate of ass. What's worse is that it's like a Pho restaurant and I can still smell it on me after I leave the gym. Why can't men's locker rooms have things like flowers and potpourri to make it smell nice? I know women have it. I've had to go to your bathrooms before. When I was still working at Micro Center I had to go in the female bathroom to grab some paper towels and noticed a nice basket of flower petals and potpourri. Naturally, I got jealous because our bathrooms didn't even have the drop-in thing in the urinals. So I snatched that joint and put it in our bathroom. The next day I worked I checked our bathroom and saw that they had removed it and put it back in the female bathroom. I was pretty mad and wanted to write a complaint to HR for borderline sexism. I consider myself a manly guy but I'd appreciate some potpourri or even a frigging fake plant to make my time there more athestically pleasing.
My second biggest problem is old Korean men. Most are fine. I'm talking about the ones with slicked back hair, gold chains, and are buck naked their entire time in the locker room. These are the guys that like to go up to the sinks, prop one leg up and then use the, gym provided, blow driers to dry their pubes. Seriously? It has to be a narcissitic thing. A lot of the ones I see blow dry themselves while strumming their junk and make stupid "Blue Steel" faces in the mirror. Hate to break it to you but you ain't that big. I saw it again yesterday. I guess propping up the leg makes some kind of sense since there is more surface area exposed to the drier and helps the moisture dissipate quicker....I find that towel + air drying to be just as effective and environmentally friendly. Save a tree....please!
- basic
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
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